Unemployment and Marriage

I have been looking for jobs for about a year now and it's been a really frustrating experience. My husband has been supportive even when he comes home and I'm in a foul, crabby mood. It's hard not to define oneself by what one does.

Wife?  Yes. But I don't know what does to define me as a person. Except that over time the constant accountability from living with someone in close quarters makes me a better person. And it also keeps me from hanging out with friends as much as I used to.

Aunt?  No, I'm too far from family to be remotely defined by that title.

Mother would be a very defining title, but I have not earned that yet. Likewise with Homeowner.

So, what am I yet, if not defined by my job title?  I will not tell you my current job title, because I do not define myself by it any more; I don't want it. If I get the job I want, I'll tell you what it is, but I'm sure you could guess.

The frustrations in job searching about because of the geographic limitations of marriage. Now I am bound to another person.

When I was single, I opened my job search all over the country, even the world, and just went. But also when I was single, I craved a steady community and a person who would always be my advocate and support.

Now that I have him, I feel bound to my location, watching as my desired job title pops up around the country, unable to apply.

But I have not forgotten what it was like before-- alone. Unemployed, for a time, and alone.  He is worth it. And I will go where he goes. And stay where he stays. And love and be loved by him.