Things We Fear Before Having a Baby

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 When you are dating seriously, people ask when you will get engaged. 

When you get engaged, people ask “when’s the date?”

When you get married, people ask when you’re planning on having children.

Hopefully they are family and not some nosey busy-body from work. But when my sister asked me this question, I said, “Hopefully not for a long time.” She was surprised. But I honestly never thought I would get to get married. Never saw that one on the horizon. Not that I think I’m ugly or am against marriage--I just never thought that something as wonderful as falling in love could ever happy to me.

Anyway...babies. Babies??? Whoa, whoa, whoa, people. I’m just getting used to sharing a toothbrush with ONE other person, metaphorically speaking. I mean, my whole life just turned upside down.

I don’t want to get all wishy-washy on you as to all the things I would miss in our marriage if a baby came, but honestly, I rarely see a baby I wish was my own. To make myself clear, I’ve compiled a little list of questions I’m wondering and I hope you other pre-baby people out there agree:

1. Will I fall into the same traps as my parents? Would I do things I swore as a pissed teenager that I would NEVER do as a parent?

2. What if I do something horrible as a result of being so exhausted like leaving the baby in the car or leaving home with the stove on?

3. What if the baby gets sick? I wouldn’t know what to do?

4. What about when I get sick--my husband can’t cook!

5. How will I continue this great marriage and give myself to being a good, attentive mother?

6. What if my kid is a brat? handicapped? likes to steal? has turrets?

Oh, yes, these could go on. And now that I’m looking at them, my fears have very little to do with the child and more to do with my own neglect. What if I am not a great parent? What if people (my family) delight in pointing out my failings and offer a mountain of unsolicited advice?


My main hope in waiting has been the to have the DESIRE to conceive. And you know what? It came. About three months ago. These fears aren’t gone, but all I know is a year ago my answer was, “Hopefully not for a long time” and now my answer to my sister is, “Hopefully soon.”

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