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Things We Fear Before Having a Baby

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money.aol.co.uk When you are dating seriously, people ask when you will get engaged.  When you get engaged, people ask “when’s the date?” When you get married, people ask when you’re planning on having children. Hopefully they are family and not some nosey busy-body from work. But when my sister asked me this question, I said, “Hopefully not for a long time.” She was surprised. But I honestly never thought I would get to get married. Never saw that one on the horizon. Not that I think I’m ugly or am against marriage--I just never thought that something as wonderful as falling in love could ever happy to me. Anyway...babies. Babies??? Whoa, whoa, whoa, people. I’m just getting used to sharing a toothbrush with ONE other person, metaphorically speaking. I mean, my whole life just turned upside down. I don’t want to get all wishy-washy on you as to all the things I would miss in our marriage if a baby came, but honestly, I rarely see a baby I wish was my own. To
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Who knew? I'm Employable!

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I got burned at my last job. I hadn't been doing my last job but for a couple of years, being in the beginning of my career, and was told I sucked at what I did and was being let go because they didn't have time to train me to get better. Disappointing! It cut me deep. Hugely shell-shocked, I was hesitant to return to a similar position at a different company. Will they hate me again? If I instinctively suck, then why would this time be different?  I mean sure, the people are nicer and the facilities are awesome, but doesn't it all come down to skills? whether or not I can actually do the job successfully? Aware of all this, I have bombarded my boss with unsolicited, home-made projects and reports, hoping that my enthusiasm and dedication might override my inability to be good at the job, or at least, hide it in the shade for a little while. Shade of the Distraction Tree. "Where is she?" they ask.   "I don't know, but have you seen this amazin
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Unemployment and Marriage

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I have been looking for jobs for about a year now and it's been a really frustrating experience. My husband has been supportive even when he comes home and I'm in a foul, crabby mood. It's hard not to define oneself by what one does. Wife?  Yes. But I don't know what does to define me as a person. Except that over time the constant accountability from living with someone in close quarters makes me a better person. And it also keeps me from hanging out with friends as much as I used to. Aunt?  No, I'm too far from family to be remotely defined by that title. Mother would be a very defining title, but I have not earned that yet. Likewise with Homeowner. So, what am I yet, if not defined by my job title?  I will not tell you my current job title, because I do not define myself by it any more; I don't want it. If I get the job I want, I'll tell you what it is, but I'm sure you could guess. The frustrations in job searching about because of the g
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Why I Chose to GIVE UP Fighting for My Rights

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I can't tell you how hard it was to find a picture depicting surrender! Darn you, American database. Fighting Does Not Equal "Time Together"  My husband and I can go weeks...maybe even months without having a fight. I don't know if that is normal or not, but I'm keeping in mind that we have no kids or house yet.   But when we do fight, we will have a sort of "fight-week" where we just keep getting hurt. We'll nit-pick, take a break and go our separate ways, then come back, apologize. Then the next day, something will happen at work maybe and the mood will be tense again. Then the next day, he or I will say something the wrong way and frustration mixed with exhaustion from a tense week will break us down again. By the time the weekend comes (or the second weekend), we MISS each other. That soft, sweet person who is so easy to love hasn't been around (I include myself in that description) and it's like we haven't seen each ot
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