Questions We Wonder Before Saying "I Do"

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 Even though I got married later, there were so many unknowns when I got married. 

1. What were his expectations for sex? Will he want it rough? Will I want it rough? What if our “method” isn’t the same?

2. Will he expect me to keep everything super clean? Sure, I helped him out a lot when we were engaged, but maybe he was just being lax to be nice.

3. He likes fishing. Will he be gone all the time? Has he just been taking a little while off to get hitched and then he’ll be gone all the time? What happens if we have more hobbies not in common? 

4. Everyone knows money is the number one reason for divorce. We talked about money, even went through a class together, but how much does he really spend on things I would never agree to? Will we be good at managing our finances together? 

Every woman wants to imagine her man as patient, understanding, logical, and, well, malleable. She would also like to believe she is all those things too (except maybe the malleable part). 

My father had a bad temper and was far from patient. He was also usually wrong. What made the marriage work was that he was always the one to come back and say he was sorry and try to work it out. He was also very malleable.

My husband, as I mentioned before, was a communications major. He is patient, understanding, sometimes a little illogical, but tries to put things in practice as soon as we talk about it. This is what makes our marriage work. For each of the things above, they did not remain a big question mark. We have talked about each of them. And are not done talking about them. These are things we will discuss our whole marriage, no doubt. But we (I and he) are WILLING to work on them. Together. And that puts my mind at ease.

Current fears of the newly wed include: 
1. Will we be able to find a house with everything we both want?
2. Will we want to have a child at the same time?
3. Will we agree on parenting techniques?
4. Will he be good around the house? (Living in an apartment, it’s hard to tell how “handy” a man you married when everything must be fixed by the landlord...)

But I know with communication, we will explore these undiscovered territories together.





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