5 Fights I Never Thought I'd Have With My Husband and How We Resolved Them



I hope you find these funny. My husband and I have realized that we only fight about stupid stuff--which is a good sign, right? I mean, if we handle the big stuff with patience and maturity, the fights about little stuff must really be about something else, other outside stresses. When we resolve our petty fights, it usually comes out that the real motivating factor had nothing to do with the original issue.


1.          Whether or Not to Leave Appliances Plugged In

My husband is a fanatic about unplugging appliances when you finish using them. ALL appliances. Like the coffee maker. Or lamps. It was really annoying at first to turn on a light switch and no light would come on. And it was a struggle at first. He would have to come behind me unplugging everything and I was going behind him and replugging everything. When we finally confronted each other about it, I felt like it was a trust issue and he felt like he was trying to protect me. Finally, it was  resolved when he pointed out our dumpy apartment has shady electrical wiring and he said he won't be this neurotic in our own home...but also, he just wants me to be safe. I guess I can deal with that. :)

2.          Him Not Thinking of Things He Doesn't Like About Me

I know, it's confusing, but aren't all petty arguments? I struck this one up, of course. When we got married I thought, "Okay, now is the time that we really confront our issues with each other to grow together and mold more to each other." After all, that's how 60-somethings who have been married a while end up looking like each other, right?  So when I got really annoyed, I started confronting him about stuff. He felt like I was nagging and had been hiding a huge long list to hit him with. My response? "Well, tell me what I'm doing wrong, too!  Give me some stuff to work on!"  I felt like this would make us "even"--that I would be more justified and being nit-picky in my judgement of him. ....But he didn't have anything to point out. Well, that made me feel like a jerk. We resolved that if I had something I wanted him to do, I would bring it up in the moment, not store them up and bring them out in a list. And likewise.

3.        Tithing 

I really thought we would have been together on this one. This wasn't about "how much," this was about whether or not we should tithe at all. Money is tight and it turns out a lot of the fight was spurned by guilt over not tithing in the past. The human mind is weird, right? His main concern were my "motives," which I'm not sure what that means. We worked together to have more trust that God will take care of us.

4.        Indoor Hermit vs Outdoor Summer Camp

I'm a home-body. And everyone says they like their quiet nights in, but I could stay indoors all day and be fine to go to sleep at night. We joke that being in our family of two is like being at a summer camp: he would prefer to be doing something, outside, at any given point. He gets really antsy and starts clawing at the walls to do something. I'm up for going with him, thankfully, because I like the outdoors. I'm just not great at coming up with ideas for activities. Which brings me to my next one.

5.       Thinking of Activities to Do

When the hubs is bored or the weekend is coming, he wants to know what's on the agenda to look forward to. And I. got. nothing. Sometimes I can think of a single activity: "Hey, honey, how about going to the batting cages?" And he says, "Ok...that will fill maybe two hours of the weekend..." In the end, he has taken more of an active role in suggesting activities and I happily participate.


--> Do you have any weird fights you and your spouse have had?  How was is resolved?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Things We Fear Before Having a Baby

Finding a Marriage Partner that Fills in Your Gaps

Blue Milk Glass Hen on Nest