Body Image and Marriage

Photo from positivebodyimage.org.uk
The first time I had a clue that married people seemed to have a secret world was when a friend let me in on her self-image struggles. She had dealt with an eating disorder back in college (and probably longer) and it spilled over into her marriage.

The thing that startled me the most (after the fact that I realized I was “on the outs” as a single person) was that personal issues can’t help but be relationship issues. I mean, what girl HASN’T had image issues? So if it happened to this girl, couldn’t it happen to me? And why not everyone? 

So basically she says she was feeling insecure & well... fat one night and didn’t feel like she could have sex. Her husband had a problem with that, of course. Not because she didn’t want to have sex, but because it was spurned by her painful image of her self. 

Let me explain. Husbands SHOULD be worried about their wives. And when it gets to the point where you can’t enjoy the closest form of bonding in a marriage (aside from kissing with morning breath), red flags go up. And this is where the difference between bffs and roommates comes into play. 

Bffs would say, “Oh, sweetie, you’re totes cute. Let’s go get Ben & Jerry’s.” Roommates that aren’t close would just avoid you for a few days and hopefully not mention the mounds of chocolate you’re consuming to self-medicate.  
Image from fellow blogger
http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com
A husband, however... Everything’s gotta stop before you can address the situation. It’s an exhausting DTR (Define the Relationship) moment you thought was over with after you quit dating. You have to BRING OUT all those feelings of insecurity, pain... all those awful stories with frenemies and high school mean girls might come out. Or that time your mother asked you, “Do you REALLY want that second helping?” Yeah. All that out in the open. In front of this man. Because marriage is about bonding and putting the other person first. And that’s another reason why marriage is  hard but worth it. 

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