Early 20s Marriage vs. Late 20s Marriage

Sometimes, it’s awesome to get married later. I’m not talking about your second marriage being better than the first (I think all would agree that no marriage is as sweet as the first). I’m saying that you can know a lot more before you go into the marriage when you date after college. 

Sure there’s that sucky time of watching all your friends get engaged junior year and then married senior year and right after. Then there’s the wave of all those friends starting to produce (Facebook babies unite!)... 
Photo from http://www.lorussostudios.com

After all THAT’S over with, you are probably finding your place in the working world. And you know what? So is your future spouse!  So when you date, you get to see the spouse in their place in the world, career, financial stability (or instability), and a personality firmly set after moving away from the college roommates. Their weight has finally settled, their gym habits are not wavering.  A lot that hasn’t stabilized can be predicted by certain habits. The beer-bottle count has usually finally stabilized. Spending habits show if future spouse will be a big spender and splurging on a mid-life crisis or encouraging you to build up the 401k. 

Dating in college, you barely know your favorite food, much less how to manage finances or how to separate your laundry. I read somewhere that people stuped in debt are looking for other people in debt to tie the knot with. Their logic? What the heck, why not? I just it when we have a country filled with no-holds-barred people. Because that won’t drive us into the ground. 

Anyway, seeing possible spouses firmly set in their life is like receiving a write up of their profile. But here’s the negative--a lot of those dates can be more like an interview. I found it oddly refreshing, you know, gettin’ down to business. It was nice to feel like I wasn’t wasting time. And when it works, it just...works. 


What do you think? Is it better to get married younger?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Things We Fear Before Having a Baby

Image
money.aol.co.uk When you are dating seriously, people ask when you will get engaged.  When you get engaged, people ask “when’s the date?” When you get married, people ask when you’re planning on having children. Hopefully they are family and not some nosey busy-body from work. But when my sister asked me this question, I said, “Hopefully not for a long time.” She was surprised. But I honestly never thought I would get to get married. Never saw that one on the horizon. Not that I think I’m ugly or am against marriage--I just never thought that something as wonderful as falling in love could ever happy to me. Anyway...babies. Babies??? Whoa, whoa, whoa, people. I’m just getting used to sharing a toothbrush with ONE other person, metaphorically speaking. I mean, my whole life just turned upside down. I don’t want to get all wishy-washy on you as to all the things I would miss in our marriage if a baby came, but honestly, I rarely see a baby I wish was my own. To
Read more

Finding a Marriage Partner that Fills in Your Gaps

Image
If anyone’s ever seen the comic from Hyperbole & a Half, the comic entitled “Depression” does a fantastic job at describing my own awkwardness. In it, there is a woman talking and another looking at her with a strange face (this would be me). The woman stops talking and asks, “What are you doing?” The other (me) responds, “I’m...connecting with you.” This is how I feel when I talk with others. I’m constantly wondering if I’m making the right face.  I always thought I would marry some awkward computer geek that relied on me and my social graces (I thought they were awesome at the time) to maneuver through a party or some other social engagement. I thought it would be cute--he would be nervous, but I would take his hand confidently and, like talk him and his Doctorate in The Sciences up to others to include him in the conversation. Sort of like that scene in A Beautiful Mind where Russel Crowe and Jennifer Connolly go on their first date and she cutely nudges him to be attent
Read more

Blue Milk Glass Hen on Nest

Image
It’s hard to know where to begin with this blue, milk-glass hen I love so much. There are SO MANY available in most every antique store you walk into. But I was looking for something specific. Carolyne Rhoem, New York Socialite decor artist (like Martha Stewart only classy and without the jail thing) and a see-through dark blue glass hen and she’s what got me on the hunt for my own. In case you didn’t know, the glass hen on the nest has a HUGE following. I’m determined not to own more than one, but I have seen a few that surprised me and I wanted to add to this little beauty. Just to show you what a big deal she is, there is a book available on amazon.com called “Glass Hen on Next Covered Dishes: Identification & Value Guide.”  Then there’s the National Milk Glass Collector’s Society which has an extensive article about identification and classification of glass hens on nest ( http://nmgcs.org/articles/42-hen-on-a-nest-studying-a-glass-collection.html ) .
Read more