Why I'm Too Busy Doing Nothing with My Husband to Spend Time With You



I used to get so mad at my parents when they would claim they couldn’t do something because “life has been too busy recently and we just can’t do it.” No it hasn’t! I protested. We went to “Splasharama” last weekend and that was it! We can have guests for dinner. Just make a little extra food. How hard is that?

I couldn’t understand their argument: You WERE busy last weekend + you aren’t busy now, Therefore, Elle can’t have friends over. 

But now I get it. Because....I finally did it this week. I played the married card. While wrought with guilt, allow me to explain it away. It’s not because I’m tired. I will not be taking a nap. I will not be doing anything “fun.”  I will most likely be sitting on couch with my hubs. But here’s the kicker: I wasn’t doing that the past three weekends. When we aren’t together, one on one, we aren’t bonding. We aren’t together. Does that make sense?  When you go to a party and everyone’s chatting, even if you’re standing together, it’s not private, it’s not intimate. And a marriage needs intimacy. Desperately. Because a marriage is a private bond. It is why when there is a crisis, no one else will do except the spouse. Because he or she knows what to do when he or she is like this. 

If those private times aren’t happening and whenever there is trouble, the girl best friend is there to gab with, there is a hole in that part of the bond. If most activities are done with others or so-and-so is just a lot easier to laugh with than the spouse, there are more holes in the bond. 

I know, I know, it’s just a teen sleepover or the in-laws want to see the baby or this shopping trip will never happen again or that singing artist is coming for a final tour or little Timmy’s sports team requires he play Sunday mornings or I haven’t had coffee with Janet in three weeks or it’s just two extra people at a dinner for 11 or she said she could come over to our place so I wouldn’t have to travel or we really should go because they’ll think badly of us.... 


The bond should be guarded. With swords drawn. I’d rather say sorry to my friends than sorry to my husband.

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