"I Don't Know, Dude, She Just Went Psycho"

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So many of my guy friends have told me why they “had” to break up with that cute little chiquita banana they were dating just a little while ago. And of course, they claimed she went crazy. 

“Really??” I say, “She seemed so cool.” But no. She went crazy-go-nuts on his tail. Yelling at him and always trying to know where he was. 

Alright, kids, here’s what’s up. Physical relationships bond you in a way you neeeeeever could have anticipated. If a chick is cool breeze about you disappearing for a few hours with your bros and not saying so, or not panicking if you don’t wanna hang out with her, she’s either cheating on you and not so much attached, or you should wonder how many relationships (or relations) before you she’s had. For you doubters, let me explain.

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When you hitch up with someone, you’re taking on all their baggage from previous relationships (including the witnessed relationship of their parents’ marriage). And when you add a physical relationship into the mix, forget logicality (is that a word?)--it goes out the window. I first experienced this when I went to a public restroom once while I was out with my boyfriend (now hubs). I took my time about it, checking my hair, touching up my makeup, maybe even texting my mom to tell her where I was. So I come out and he’s FREAKING OUT about how much time I was in there. Accusatorially (again, a word?), he’s giving me the riot-act, asking me 20 billion questions. Come to find out, an ex of his did the same thing and had apparently be calling HER ex, wanting to get back together. Ouch. Talk about a kick to the nuts. We only solved that one because 1. he was a good communicator and 2. willing to search for an alternative to why he was upset.

I told my friend who just got engaged to watch out. The girl will start to cry at SPCA commercials and Hallmark movies. I mean, real tears streaming down. She’ll worry when you’re 20 minutes late coming home and obsess over whether or not she’s “letting herself go.” She’ll do all this because.....THE STAKES ARE HIGHER. Sex ups the ante but marriage does more. Now you’re talking about joined taxes and children and learning to combine your lives. More importantly, if you split, you split your heart in two. If you split in a relationship after having sex or bonding physically in an intimate way (yes, “sex” is not the cut-off line), a piece of you goes with that person. It’s painful. It’s excruciating. 


You wanna know why chick went psycho? You went there. Together. And all her fears of separation, insecurity, past baggage all came welling up and spewed out on your relationship. Communication is the only way to get past it. That and waiting for any ultimately bonding experience until you’re sure you’re in it for the long run. 

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